Ryan Donnelly's Blog

The Power Of Listening

I have never been known as a motor mouth, or outspoken.  I am usually the quiet one in the room.  It’s not that I can’t keep a conversation with someone, it’s actually quite the opposite,  it’s just that I have learned to listen.  I’m not talking about  half ass listening, but really giving 100% of your attention to the person speaking.  Perhaps even try to feel where they are coming from.

Since I have been doing this,really paying attention, that is. I have been noticing a burning trend in most human beings.  We all have excuses about everything.  It seems that if we make an excuse, it puts us off the hook from being judged.  As if anyone truly gives a shit, that you’re not really doing what your supposed to do.

 So here is something you all can try out this weekend when your with a group of people. Try to be still when someone is speaking to you, try to listen whole heartedly, try to  make eye contact, and try to actually feel what they are saying to you.  Absorb the energy they are putting out.  By being still and listening 100 percent to another human, you are letting them release unwanted energy.  You help free them of this venom.  Everyone wants to be heard.

Now when you are out and about, after you have read this, flip it around and see who is actually listening to YOU, when YOU have something to say.   Become aware of who is making eye contact with you, who gives you their full attention, and who  isn’t just sitting there, waiting just for their turn to speak.  It will boggle your mind how many people just wait for that.  For that exact moment when there is a pause or lull in conversation, where they can chime in and voice their two cents. They could care less what you have to say.

This little experiment will teach you a lot about the people you surround yourself with.  If they really respect the person you are, or if they look down on you.  It can also tell you a lot about a friendship. Next time you have something bothering you, tell a friend. If you don’t feel lighter after, it’s because they don’t feel you.  

The art of becoming a good listener, and yes, it is an art, has changed my life.  For the past year I have shut the flip up.  In fact I  spoke very rarely. Most people probably just thought I was being an asshole.

I was absorbing  as much information about the outside world as I possibly could , and I  have spent hours analyzing the human mind.  And after doing this, I realized that I don’t need to talk much, and that I am perfectly content with being the quiet one.  I want to listen to people, really listen and help them heal.

My blog is my voice to you.  It is where I want to share what I have learned in this journey, and what I am learning daily.  I went to a dark dark place to get to the place I am in now.  You keep reading, and I can promise to always give you a good silent ear to listen with.

Have a good weekend.

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